


When I’m Alone With You

by Halla_Leafslayer



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: And season 3 is VERY bad, Athelnar - Freeform, Athelnar fluff, Athelstan has scars, Confessions, Episode: s02e09 The Choice, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, I Will Go Down With This Ship, It’s sad cause it’s season 2, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, Post Athelstan’s Crucifixion, Post-Coital Cuddling, Scars, Sweetheart Ragnar, The Author Regrets Everything, Vikings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 18:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halla_Leafslayer/pseuds/Halla_Leafslayer
Summary: My church offers no absolutesHe tells me "worship in the bedroom"The only heaven I'll be sent toIs when I'm alone with youI was born sick, but I love itCommand me to be well-/-Ragnar and Athelstan thought their walk together would be uneventful. They were wrong.





	When I’m Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> For once another Athelnar one!! And let’s juat say this was another “deleted scene” don’t you hate those?! As if they haven’t cut out enough scenes from this show *eyeroll*

Ragnar saw one of Horik’s archers in the bushes while he and Athelstan walked together. Ragnar put his arm around him, pulling the smaller man close so the man couldn’t take his shot. The Northman was contemplating on kicking Horik’s ass for that, but he put his focus back on Athelstan.

Seeing him cleaned up and dressed like a priest, brought back memories of Lindisfarne. When he stole him and other frightened priests away and took them back to Kattegat. Ragnar remembers seeing the fear in his pretty eyes, holding a knife to his pretty throat before cutting the rope from it. Only this time, he doesn’t have his monk haircut. He looked down at his friend and smiled. “It is good to see you. I feared that you were dead.”

The younger man looked up at him and smiled. But it went away just as fast. “There were times that I wish I had been.”

Though Ragnar didn’t know what he meant by it, he imagined it. He could picture his friend torn, in pain, praying to anyone that would listen. The earl swallowed hard and pushed those thoughts from his head when Athelstan said. “I gave into despair.” And Ragnar held him closer.

 

* * *

 

Just as promised, Ragnar escorted him partway back to Ecbert. The Northman was sure that the king has men hiding just as Horik did, and they stopped. Facing each other, Ragnar smiled. “I have something to return to you.” Athelstan watched as the older man pulled out the arm ring. Pushing his sleeve up, Ragnar put the ring on him and that’s when he saw it.

Athelstan’s eyes fell on the scar on his hand, and before he could pull away, Ragnar took his hand in his. “What is this?” Before looking up. “What happened?”

“Ragnar-“

“Tell me.” Athelstan met his eyes and saw worry with a mix of anger in them. He knew he couldn’t get out of this.

The Christian sighed and said “It happened after you left. I was captured.”

“By Christians?”

Athelstan nodded and said “I tried to reason with them, but they wouldn’t listen. They beat me and crucified me.”

Ragnar wanted him to tell him it wasn’t true. That any minute the younger man would laugh, but he wasn’t. Swallowing, Ragnar asked “Like your god?”

Athelstan nodded and said “Yes. Except they didn’t finish, King Ecbert stopped them before they could.”

The earl felt his grip on Athelstan’s hand tighten, but not enough to hurt him. “ _Ecbert did this to you?_ ”

The younger man quickly shook his head and said “No, he didn’t. Ragnar, he saved my life. King Ecbert arrived before they could finish. If he didn’t, I would not be standing here now.”

Athelstan watched as the Northman scanned his face, relaxing before Ragnar dropped his hand. Turning away from him, the earl shook his head and said “And they call us savages. Are those men still alive? The ones who hurt you?”

“Ragnar please-“

“ _Are they alive?!_ ” Athelstan flinched when Ragnar raised his voice, and the older mean instantly regretted it.

The older man sighed and said “Forgive me. Are they alive?” Switching back to his softer tone.

Athelstan shook his head and said “I do not know. But it does not matter now-“

“It matters to me. Someone hurting you, it matters to me. And if I find them, I will kill them.”

The Christian laid a hand on his shoulder and said “I know you would. But it’s done, and you need to keep your focus on King Ecbert.” Ragnar watched as the younger man stepped closer and said “I swear to you, I am fine.”

They stared at each other for a minute before Ragnar nodded. “Alright. But you must promise me that anyone hurts you, you tell me. And I will bury them.”

Athelstan nodded and said “I promise.”

Ragnar sighed and pulled the smaller man into a hug. “I had dreams that you were dead. When I heard about the slaughter, I feared they came true. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, Athelstan.”

Athelstan closed his eyes and said “Neither would I.”

When the earl pulled back, he took both of Athelstan’s hands in his and examined the scars. Shaking his head, the Northman asked “How could they ruin such beautiful hands?” And it surprised the Christian when Ragnar leaned down and kissed one scar at a time.

The Christian’s blushed and when the older man looked up at him through his lashes, they kept eye contact until he stood upright. And before he could stop himself, Athelstan pulled Ragnar in and kissed him. This surprised the Northman but he only pulled the younger man closer, kissing back.

Ragnar’s had dreams about kissing the Christian, and more, since the day they met. But he never wanted to force himself on him, so all he had were his dreams. If Ecbert had men in these woods, they could be watching them right now. But he didn’t pull away. When they did, Ragnar presses their foreheads together and smiled. “You never cease to amaze me, Priest.”

Athelstan smiled and said “I dreamt of you before I was attacked. I dreamt I was home with you in Kattegat. You made love to me and I felt so warm and safe in your arms. But when I woke up, it was dark and cold and I was alone.”

The Northman sighed and Athelstan said “And when I woke again after that, three arrows had narrowly missed me.”

Ragnar kissed him again, not wanting to hear anymore of the bad. In between kisses, he said “I will always keep you safe. I promise.”

The Christian said “I know, My Love.” And then looked over to his right. He sighed and said “I must get back. I will deliver your message to King Ecbert as soon as I find him.”

The Northman didn’t want him to go, and the Christian saw this. He smiled and said “You will see me again, I promise. And when you do, I want you to make love to me.”

Ragnar’s eyebrows shot up and he nodded. The Northman smiled and said “I will.” Before helping the smaller man up into his mule. Ragnar laid a hand on Athelstan’s thigh and said “Please stay safe. I love you.”

Athelstan smiled and said “And I love you.”

The older man kissed Athelstan’s hand one last time before he got the mule to move. The Christian looking back at him as they went, and Ragnar didn’t leave until he couldn’t see him anymore.

 

* * *

 

The next time they saw each other, they were in Ecbert’s castle. Athelstan took Ragnar to the room he works in, showing him his work. Ragnar took his time with admiring work. From the pictures, to the texts, to how steady of a hand Athelstan has. The Northman was in awe.

Ragnar smiled and said “Beautiful. You do this all yourself?”

Athelstan smiled and nodded “Yes. I did the same back in Lindisfarne before I met you.”

The older man nodded and went back to admiring until a hand laid on his wrist. Ragnar stopped and looked down at the hand before us big his free one to stroke over the scar in the center. “Scars or not, you are still beautiful, My Love.” He looked up at the Christian and smiled. “I always thought you were beautiful.”

Athelstan smiled and looked down, but Ragnar gently made him look up. Meeting his eyes, the Northman asked “Is this what you really want?”

The younger man nodded and said “Yes.” Before looking around them. “Just not in this room.”

Ragnar smirked and nodded. “Then take me to bed, Priest.” Before kissing him.

 

* * *

 

Ever since Ragnar and Lagertha asked him to come into their bed, Athelstan had thought about lying with Ragnar. Lagertha is a gorgeous woman, he will never deny that, but he desired Ragnar more.

He liked to watch him while they did chores on the farm. Especially when Ragnar would chop wood. Every chop, every muscle jumping underneath his clothes, made Athelstan’s heart race. He even dared to gaze upon him once while the Northman was bathing. Ragnar never knew, but Athelstan was so consumed by guilt, he said a thousand prayers that night.

The Christian never could have imagined that Ragnar Lothbrok laying him down and make love to him, but he was. In the beginning he feared that one day, Ragnar would take advantage of him. Tear him in half and leave him sobbing, but he didn’t. Tears are falling but not from abuse, but from joy in knowing he’s with the man he loves.

Ragnar became worried and stopped moving. “What is it? Are you hurt?”

The Christian laughed and wiped them away, Ragnar helping. “No, no, it’s alright. It still hurts a little, but I am fine.” When the Northman didn’t look convinced, Athelstan pulled him down for a kiss and said “Move, Ragnar. It’s okay.”

 

* * *

 

Afterwards, Ragnar pulled Athelstan against him and kissed his hair. The Northman smiled and said “I pictured this millions of times in my head, in millions of different ways.”

The Christian looked up and asked “And did I disappoint you?”

Ragnar shook his head and said “No, My Love. It was perfect. You are perfect. And I would like more perfect times with you.”

Athelstan smiled and said “Me too.” The Christian watched as the older man took the hand that was on his shoulder and moved it down to his chest.

Ragnar held their hands over his heart and said “My heart ached every minute you were gone, My Love. I didn’t want you to stay, I should have fought harder for you to stay with me. But I trusted that you would do well. I just never thought they’d do what they did.” He stroked his thumb over the scar on the back of his hand once again and sighed. “And then after hearing about the massacre, I just..”

Ragnar stopped when his voice broke and a tear rolled down his cheek. Athelstan wiped it away, and the Northman said “I prayed to the gods that I could sprout wings and fly, because the boats would take too long. I wanted you back-“

“You have me. You will _always_ have me.”

The older men an sighed and said “But one day you will leave me. And what am I to do then, hmm?“

Athelstan said “Do not think of that. Think of the time we have now, cherish it. Cherish every minute. And if that day comes, whenever it may come, know that I will never stop loving you.”

The Northman nodded and said “And I will never stop loving you.” And Athelstan smiled before kissing him.


End file.
